


Oreos, a Cane, and a Hell of a Lot Diapers

by TheFellowshipOfOreos



Category: House M.D.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFellowshipOfOreos/pseuds/TheFellowshipOfOreos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hilson AU in which House and Wilson are waiting the birth of their two babies. Watch them survive their first few weeks of parenthood along with the struggles it takes to be a parent. And of course, what's a House M.D fan fiction without a little bit of Cuddy and The Ducklings? Rated M just to be safe, but this is mainly fluffy stuff! HouseWilson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own House MD in any way (it belongs to its rightful owners) and this story is a figment of my imagination. The only thing I own is my imagination, so enjoy! This is my first House MD fan fiction and my first fan fiction ever, so please be nice! I absolutely adore the show and this plot came to me a few days ago, so I though why not? Please read and review!
> 
> Warnings: You're reading a Hilson story. It's a relationship between House and Wilson (two men) so if this is not your cuppa tea, don't drink it! Simply move along. Contains strong language at some points. AU in which House and Wilson are waiting the birth of their two babies. Watch them survive their first few weeks of parenthood along with the struggles it takes to be a parent. Of course, what's a House M.D fan fiction without a little Cuddy and The Ducklings? Pairings include House and Wilson (Hilson), a hint of Park and Chase (Chark), and Foreman and Thirteen (Foreteen). Also, please excuse any errors in my grammar and spelling, I tried my very best without a beta.
> 
> In this story: Kutner is alive (because I love him okay and he didn't deserve to die) , Thirteen does not have Huntington's disease, Cameron is still on the team, so is Park and Taub. Wilson does not have cancer (I repeat, Jimmy-boy does not have cancer.) House is off Vicodin and is clean for many months. I don't really think it's OOC, but if it is...well, oops. It was hard to write House in character but I think I managed...even he can't be mean when there are babies involved! Enough...let's go on to the story!

"House," Wilson said as he shook the sleeping lump that lay in front of him. "House, wake up!"

House slapped Wilson's hands away from his face with an annoyed expression. He turned away and threw a pillow over his head. "I don't know what time it is, or what day it is either but Wilson, I swear to God if you're just waking me up at—," House grabbed the alarm clock sitting on their nightstand. "—5 A.M in the morning there better be a damn good reason."

House rolled over and pulled the covers over his head, intending to go back to sleep. He had no time for Wilson's little games, especially early this morning.

Wilson sighed and reached out to grab the sheets and yanked them off of House. "I'm not playing, Greg. Wake up, we have to go."

The tone of voice Wilson was using should have alarmed House, as well as the fact that he just called him Gregory. He never used his first name unless something was wrong (or it was in the heat of the moment, but that's a story for another day), but House was too tired and groggy to think clearly. Besides, it was hard to know whether Wilson wanted to say something serious or he was in the mood when he called House 'Gregory'.

Finally, House sat up in his bed and eyed at the younger doctor standing in front of him. Wilson was half clothed- he had on a pair of jeans on and his shirt was not tucked in yet. Only one sock clothed his naked foot while the other one stood bare.

"Let me guess. New episode of General Hospital? Blow drier broke? Are we out of ice-cream?"

The look in Wilson's eyes told House he was not kidding.

"I just got a call from Hayley. She's in labor."

House suddenly jumped from his bed and grabbed his pants from the floor, struggling to put them on. Wilson went over to help him but House waved him off and proceeded to grab his cane.

"How is she?"

"She's alone at home and the midwife's on her way and she wants us to be there too," Wilson continued.

House limped over to the window and parted the curtains. He cursed under his breath and turned over to look at Wilson.

"There's gotta be at least 4 inches of snow on the ground," he said, bending over to sit on the bed to put his sneakers on. "And there's gonna be more if we don't leave now. You should have told me straight up and we would have left ages ago!"

Wilson rolled his eyes and scrambled to put the remainder of his clothes on before he ran down the hallway. House followed him, the soft 'thump-clunk, thump-clunk' sound of his feet and cane hitting the floor. He sat down on the couch and waited as he watched Wilson scurry around the living room.

House could hear Wilson's feet scampering across their bedroom floor, grabbing certain things from drawers and snatching documents here and there. He could hear him running back to the living room, only to slip on something and fall down on the hard wooden floor with a 'thump'.

"You okay there, Cinderella?" House playfully called out, smirking to himself.

Wilson picked himself up and entered the living room.

"I am not your Cinderella," he declared, grabbing his coat and throwing House's coat over to the couch, where the amused doctor was still sitting.

House seized his coat and walked over to where Wilson was frantically tugging the sleeves on. He put his hands softly on Wilson's shoulders.

"You okay? You know there's no reason to stress about it,"

When House was kind and compassionate; he was...well, a whole new person. And Wilson liked that.

Wilson nodded anxiously and let House help him with his coat.

"It's gonna be okay, Wilson. You got everything? The papers, the bag with all the clothes and anything else we might need? And you called the attorney?"

House watched as Wilson nodded again. He grabbed his cane and opened their front door, stepping out and bringing the cold air into the hallway. Wilson followed, clutching a briefcase and a medium sized blue bag—containing countless baby clothes, diapers, bottles and more.

The couple hurried over to their car, which was parked right in front of their home. Although there was less than 5 inches of snow on the ground, the roads were already cleared and all Wilson had to do was to grab a snow shovel and push any excess snow that might have found its way under their car.

House stood and watched as Wilson hurriedly removed the snow that had fallen on the car. It was dark and cold outside, and he wondered why Hayley couldn't have picked a better day to go into labor; a sunny day would have been better, maybe. A good day, maybe at noon or something, anything that was not 5 A.M on a cold Saturday morning. 

But House was pleased. He was beyond pleased, although he didn't want Wilson to see him standing there with a big grin on his face. They had waited 2 years before the perfect surrogate mother had been found for them. Those years had been long and stressful and left the couple agonizing over whether she would accept to carry a child for them, but when they found Hayley, all their troubles and questions seemed to have vanished.

Well, some anyway.

Wilson finished removing the snow and hastily threw the shovel in the direction of their yard and they got in the car. House sat in the passenger seat in the front, the bag and papers sitting on his lap. They sat in silence as they waited for the car to warm up, but the silence was broken when Wilson turned to House with a small smile on his face.

He didn't know what to say; what do couples say when the time for their children to be born comes? But Wilson found the words; simple, small words that caused both men to smile internally.

"It's time, House," he said, the smile lingering on his face before he leaned over and gave House a small kiss.

"It's about time," House said, glancing away so that Wilson couldn't see the smile on his face.

But Wilson had seen it anyway and now they sat in silence again, looking at each others grinning faces.

The car had warmed enough and Wilson started driving the 20 minute long drive it took to get to the Hayley's house. The roads were deserted, except for the occasional car and snow plow trucks removing the snow that gathered on the roads.

They tried turning on the radio, but the stations were not on yet, and the ones that were were talk shows and the news.

The ride was only 20 minutes, but to the both of the anxious men it felt like hours. Wilson's knuckles were harsh and white as he held the steering wheel and sometimes stopping to chew at his nails nervously.

"Wilson, stop it, stop worrying. It's going to be okay, I can promise you that. Everything is going to be okay," he assured him, reaching out to pat him on the back.

It was usually the other way around; Wilson comforted and took care of House, but today the roles were reversed.

Wilson nodded but started to hyperventilate, to which House rolled his eyes.

"But what if something goes wrong, House? What if one of the babies gets stuck or gets sick or is stillborn, or what if Hayley changes her mind and keeps them?"

They came to a red light and House turned to face Wilson.

"I already told you, everything is going to be alright. Both of them are going to be okay, and I'll make sure they're okay too, so you can count on me. You're going to be a good wifey, Wilson."

Wilson huffed a bit at the 'wifey' part but smiled anyway. It seemed like House had a never-ending list of embarrassing nicknames for him, 'wifey' and 'Cinderella' being the latest.

He recalled how happy he and House had been when they found out Hayley was pregnant; the day was filled with hugs and kisses and a nice dinner. Honestly, it was the happiest Wilson had seen House in the past months and their happiness increased when they found out Hayley would be having twins; one girl and a boy, to be specific.

They had decided that Wilson was more compatible and that he would be a good match to be the babies' father; so they fertilized Hayley's egg through artificial insemination. House thought it was a bit gross to be truthful at first, but Wilson was so happy that he didn't try to ruin the mood.

Both men became close to the surrogate mother. They visited often and had dinners and got to know one another well. Wilson dragged House to many meetings with other surrogate mothers and families. They were not the only gay couple awaiting a baby; in fact, there were two other men who had gone down the same path as House and Wilson and decided to get a surrogate.

They were there to comfort Hayley through the nausea and mood swings and to feel the first kicks (which by the way, brought tears to Wilson's eyes and House's face was brightened by his lopsided grin.)

They went to all ultrasound sessions and got to catch the very first glimpses of the babies, their babies, and got to meet their midwife, Laura. Hayley had decided to go with a natural birth even after countless protests by both doctors, and they had attended some sessions that Hayley had with the midwife to prepare for the birth.

Hayley wanted a natural birth at home and she didn't want to be in a hospital. She thought a baby should be born in a small and cozy place and not the white and blue walls of the operating room.

"Besides," she had said when House and Wilson showed their disapproval. "I'll have my own two doctors with me in the room if we ever need help."

Wilson remembered how House's team had reacted when he told them they were having a baby.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm having a baby," House had announced to his unsuspecting team one Monday morning.

"You're a woman?" Park had asked.

They looked at him confused, until House continued.

"Oh, I didn't mean me. See, I actually payed attention in sixth grade biology class and contrary to popular beliefs I am actually a male," he had said.

"Hooker got pregnant?" Chase suggested.

House scoffed. "No, you dimwit. My surrogate's pregnant. With my baby. Well, technically Wilson's."

Foreman frowned and shook his head. "You're making no sense, House. Are you okay?"

House looked at his team. "You still don't get it, do you? Me and Wilson like to stick—"

Wilson had flushed pink and coughed real loud. He practically yelled, "They get it, House! No need for a visual image."

But the ducklings had heard him alright. Chase and Thirteen had both blushed a deep shade of red, Park muttered an 'ohh, I see', Cameron turned her head away, obviously still infatuated with House and disappointed that he was attracted to men, realizing she had absolutely no chance against Wilson, and Taub squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

"Um, yeah. He—House and me—we're in a relationship. We're having a baby, two, actually. We got a surrogate mother and she conceived through means of artificial insemination."

Everyone had fallen silent and glanced at each other until Thirteen, Kutner, and Foreman triumphantly yelled.

"Oh yes," said Thirteen, standing up and moving over to where Taub, Adams, Park, Chase and Cameron were sitting with shocked faces.

"Fork over the money," Foreman said as he extended his hand and waited as each of the losers dropped a 100 dollar bill in his hand.

Kutner went around gathering the money with a grin until he counted everything up and evenly divided it between Foreman, Thirteen and himself.

House looked at everyone with a confused face until he exclaimed, "You had a bet on whether I was gay or not?"

Thirteen nodded and smiled as she pocketed her money.

"Yes, we did. We suspected something was going on between you and Wilson since last December, at the Christmas party," she revealed as everyone nodded.

House looked at them with a gleam in his eyes before he stated, "I've taught you well." Then he walked away.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wilson smiled as he remembered that day. House's team had taken the news alright. Cuddy on the other hand was a little shocked, but she gave them her blessings. She avoided them for a while until House forced Park to snitch, and he found out that Cuddy still had some feelings for him. House then told her that he didn't have any feelings for her anymore and that he loved Wilson.

That was only the second time House had said he loved him, and Wilson recalled how pleased he felt after House had said the dreaded 'L' word.

"Wilson, you're smiling into the distance. You okay?" House said, bringing Wilson back to the present.

"Yeah," he said as they approached Hayley's house. "Just remembering stuff. Happy stuff."

"This is gonna be a happy memory too one day, Wilson."

Wilson almost chocked on his own saliva.

"You sap," he joked as he pulled up to the street.

"I'm not the sap; you're the sap…jerk face."

Wilson scoffed and killed the engine. "I'm quite aware of your inability to be nice, House. Let's go."

The snow had begun to fall harder as House and Wilson got out of the car. They grabbed their things and walked to Hayley's house, and waited as Wilson rang the doorbell at least a ten times.

"I bet that's them," they both heard Hayley yell from somewhere inside the house.

Laura opened the door and ushered them in.

"Oh thank heavens you're here," she said as Wilson and House pulled their coats and wet shoes off. "She's been holding them in—can you believe her—and refusing to push unless you arrived!"

"Where is she?"

"She's in the living room, on the floor. I've put a birthing mat on the floor so she would be comfortable."

Wilson ran to the living room and House followed as fast as he could manage with his cane. They were greeted by a very sweaty and pregnant Hayley, sitting on the floor with her legs bent under her. The room was bare, except for the birthing mat. The place smelled sterile and clean.

"Greg? James? You're here, oh thank God," she said as she moved her legs. She was only wearing an extra-large T-shirt that came up to her knees. "My water broke a while ago, but I wanted you two to be here—," she paused as a contraction ripped through her body. "They're yours, after all. Daddies need to be here for the birth of their babies."

"How're you feeling?" House asked as he reached in his pocket, pulling out a travel size stethoscope. He listened to her heart beat before giving a thumbs up and asking Laura her blood pressure.

"I feel pregnant..." she answered truthfully. "And sore."

Wilson knelt next to her and watched as Laura set up things she needed; a basin filled with clean warm water, surgical instruments, towels, and stirrups for her legs.

House cautiously sat down next to her, careful to avoid his bad leg.

"Are you in pain? We could get you to the hospital and give you an epidural." he said as he watched her push through another contraction.

Hayley shook her head no and laughed. "It's my third birth, you know. I'm a pro by now."

"Yes, but it's your first set of twins. It's a little bit harder; but we'll help you through it, honey," Laura said as she moved to dab her sweaty forehead.

"We'll move you to the bathtub if it becomes too hard to push, okay?" Wilson snapped on latex gloves and passed some around to Laura and House.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After at least 20 minutes of pushing, Laura then said, "We need to put your feet in stirrups now, Hayley. Think you can do that?"

Hayley nodded and moved as Wilson and House lifted her legs and put them in the small green stirrups. Laura lifted Hayley's oversized shirt and felt around for a bit. House cringed.

"God, it must feel weird to have a five pound football charging through your most precious orifice—," House paused, looked again and cocked his head. "—Well, what looks like your most precious orifice. What's left of it anyway."

Hayley managed to chuckle but she was caught short as she felt a stronger contraction pull through.

"I want to push!" she screamed, holding her thighs closer to her chest.

Laura pressed a hand on her belly. "You can push, but not all at once and not too hard. You don't want to tear, or we'll have to put stitches...careful now,"

"Oh, I feel it coming," she screamed as she held her thighs closer to her chest. "Get it out, get it out!"

Wilson paled as he saw the head of the baby start to appear.

"Come on honey, you can do it! I see the head," Laura exclaimed, sending Wilson off to gather more towels and fill the small basin with lukewarm water.

Wilson scampered off only to return moments later with the needed items. Laura turned to House and handed him special scissors to cut the umbilical cord.

Wilson glanced over and smiled at House when he noticed how scared he looked.

"It'll be okay," Wilson guaranteed as he clutched a small towel in his hands.

After a loud yell and curses from Hayley's part, all three of them watched as the baby's head and shoulders slipped out. Laura then slowly touched the baby and then all of its body came out, leaving Hayley's tired body with a cry.

The room was filled with cries and Wilson and House looked up to see Laura holding a crying baby, the umbilical cord still attached.

"It's a boy!" Laura said as she put the baby in the basin. His little cries were loud and strong as he breathed in his first breaths of fresh air. She cleaned him and dried him off, patting his back and using a special tool to remove excess mucus from his nasal passage and lungs.

She placed the squirming and still crying baby on Hayley's chest, and Wilson and House took their first looks at their baby.

Hayley was still panting but she was smiling, and she placed a small kiss on the baby's head. Wilson watched with tears in his eyes, and he smoothed Hayley's head and hair, murmuring 'good job' in her ear.

All four of them sat and watched the fidgeting baby on Hayley's chest. It was peacefully quiet, except for Hayley's still labored breathing, the baby's soft crying, and the movements Laura made when her hands reached under Hayley to check on her.

Laura then piped up, "You're going great, Hayley. The other little one won't be coming for a good 10 minutes or so. We'll cut the umbilical cord."

She picked up the baby and swaddled him in a soft towel and handed him to House. House looked at the soft newborn laying in the towel, his eyes still closed and unopened to the world around him, and he was suddenly afraid to touch him.

A soft pat on the back from Wilson and an encouraging look from both Hayley and Laura, and House carefully took the baby and brought him close to his chest.

That telltale lopsided grin of his played on his lips as he touched his son for the first time. He smelled of newborn and was warm. House carefully felt the umbilical cord and cut a few inches above the baby's soft skin.

He gave the rest of the cord to Laura for her to dispose, and clipped the remainder of the umbilical cord.

"What's his name?" Hayley asked, beaming from ear to ear.

House and Wilson glanced at each other.

"His name is Levy," Wilson said.

"You wanted to call him Levy. I wanted to call him Ravi—,"

Wilson grinned. "Yeah, and watch him be teased for the rest of his life with a name like that? I think not! I can already imagine the kids at school calling him Ravioli."

House pictured the scene in his head and couldn't suppress a chuckle. His finger softly trailed down Levy's cheeks, his skin still pink and flushed.

"We'll still bring them for a check-up after the girl is born, right? PPTH is just 10 minutes away and I'm not certified to give them a clean bill of health. I'll call the Newborn Center in an hour or two," he stated.

Laura agreed and went to the kitchen to get some ice for Hayley.

Wilson moved near House and they sat next to each other and watched their son. House passed Levy to a very emotional Wilson and watched as he carefully took the baby into his arms for the very first time. His brown eyes twinkled as he smiled at the bundle in his arms.

"Hi, Levy. It's James; I'm your dad." He thought for a while before continuing."Well, one of your dads, actually."

House watched as Wilson touched the soft wisps of brown hair on the baby's head. "Are you going to cry, Jimmy? I was right; you are a sap!" he teased.

Wilson scoffed and turned to House. "I am not a sap, thank you very much. I just have a lot of emotions. I've waited almost 3 years," he stated, his voice cracking and becoming high pitched at the end of his sentence.

House loved teasing him, but he smirked and kissed the top of his head anyways.

It was a perfect moment.

They waited for the next baby. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, then minutes turned to hours. Levy was fast asleep, cuddled in fresh new clothes Wilson and House brought from their home.

Laura frowned.

"Is it supposed to take this much time?" House asked as he surveyed Hayley, who was experiencing another contraction.

"No, not this long; usually, a few minutes interval is all there is between the babies." She asked Hayley to lie back down as she inspected her. She frowned again and shook her head.

"I don't feel the baby's head."

Panic arose in both men as Wilson's fears came true. Hayley then pushed again with a loud yell and they stared as two pink feet appeared.

"I feel it. Something's wrong, Laura…God! Get it out, help the baby, something's wrong!" she shrieked as another painful contraction ripped through her body.

"It's a breech," Wilson muttered as he bent over to squeeze Hayley's sweaty hand. Laura moved fast; grabbing supplies and attending to Hayley. "Oh God, it's a breech. How did we not see this in the ultrasounds?!"

His breath was heavy as he looked at the woman's body next to him.

"Babies move a lot, James. This little one must have rotated a little after Levy popped out. She had more space than she ever had before; so I suppose she rotated her body, unfortunately, the wrong way." Laura explained, trying to calm the frantic oncologist.

House grabbed his phone, stood up and dialed the hospital's number. "I'm calling the hospital. I hope they can bring an ambulance over in this snow—yes, hello? This is Dr. House, department of Diagnostic Medicine—yes, I'm doing fine—yes, so's Wilson—no, I'm not at work—listen I need—will you shut up?! I need an ambulance over at...yes, that's right—a breech, we need assistance as fast as possible,"

He turned away and fell silent after a few moments. He hung up the phone, only to glance back at the agitated midwife and nervous Wilson.

"Ambulance isn't going to come," he muttered, his heart dropping to see such a panicked face from Hayley and Wilson. "Too much snow on the roads."

It was then that the four adults then realized how much in trouble they were in.

They had to deliver this baby, one way or the other.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I forgot to mention that I altered House's and Wilson's ages a bit, so they're both in their mid forties. Of course, House is a tad bit older than Wilson :) Filler chapter. Enjoy!

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Baby Emily was born at 10:23 A.M that morning, almost a full 6 hours after Levy popped out. By the time she was born, the snow was shoveled away and the roads were clean. All four adults had purple bags under their eyes and were worn out; but baby Levy had slept through the entire thing. He woke up a few times demanding to be fed, so Laura pumped some milk from Hayley to feed him with.

She had decided that she wouldn't allow Hayley to breastfeed them, because that would create a 'bond' between her and the twins and she might have changed her mind and choose to keep them.

Hayley had pushed for more than 4 hours before Emily decided to show her face. Laura had given the all-clear, and they were all relieved to see that she was healthy and normal.

Now that everything was okay, House and Wilson were sitting in the living room, the two twins sleeping in in front of them. Laura had gone to the bathroom to clean up Hayley and left the two new fathers gazing at the babies.

Their babies.

Wilson couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that the two tiny human beings sleeping in his lap were his. It had to be one of those crazy realistic dreams; but he had pinched himself multiple times already. It was real, everything was real, and now he could go home with his two children.

He watched as House trailed a finger down Emily's face.

"She looks like you," House whispered, gazing at the baby's brown eyes and hair. Emily had opened her eyes and gazed at the two men. Her little brown eyes couldn't focus (that's expected of a newborn) and she slowly moved her hands over her face.

"She does, doesn't she?" Wilson watched as House caressed her little pink hand.

"This is making you a hell of a lot more affectionate, House. As I said before, you're a sap."

"I'm loosing my touch, eh? I'm gonna have to wrestle a bear to get my manliness back," he admitted, chuckling low in his throat. "But no. I'm gonna—I'm gonna change. I'm not going to let them grow up like I did; I'll be a good father, a good person, for once."

Wilson grinned and patted him on the back.

"That's great, House!"

House flicked Wilson's hand away playfully. "Don't get used to this, princess. I'll only be gushy and sappy for the kids. I'll still act like an ass to you."

"That's okay," Wilson said as he rolled his eyes. "I know you love me anyway."

He hugged House from the side, careful of the baby in front of him. The hug was awkward because he held him from the side and not the front of him, and they sat in silence for a while.

"How gayer can this get?" House asked, suppressing a laugh.

"Not more than this," Wilson chuckled, standing up and putting Emily next to her twin.

He padded down the hallway, leaving House in the living room.

"Laura?" he called out.

She came out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

"James, hi! How're you two fathers doing?"

Wilson blushed and answered. "We're fine, thanks. We called the attorney and he's supposed to be meeting us at PPTH in an hour and a half. House wants to take the twins for a check up at the newborn unit over there, and we already put the twins in their car seats."

Laura nodded and clutched the towel in her hands. "That's good, you should take them for a check up. It was a home birth, after all, and I advice my clients to bring the newborns to get checked up after the birth."

She and Wilson walked over to the kitchen.

"How is she?"

"Hayley's doing fine, she's taking a hot bath at the moment. She's starting to produce milk, which is good. I've used the pump to pump some milk into bottles for feeding the babies. You know the drill, we've gone over it; I'll be delivering the breast milk every few days to you. The papers have been signed and everything is arranged."

Wilson heard House move in the next room, and he saw him carefully bring the baby car seats containing the twins to the front door. He already had his coat and shoes on and looked expectantly at Wilson.

"Hayley's body is raging with maternal instincts right now. Her hormones are off the chart, and that's expected of course...this is not her first birth, and I don't want to scare you. But it's not uncommon for the mother to ask for the babies back."

Wilson's heart dropped and his face paled and he waited, as Laura continued.

"Now, I know you're a first time parent and all and this is all new for you. I don't want to scare you. She has already signed the papers and talked to her attorney and she shows no signs of wanting the babies for herself. We'll have to wait for a few weeks. But it'll be best if she didn't see the twins for a few weeks, maybe a month or two. You get me?"

Wilson nodded a bit too fast, and Laura smiled and patted him (a bit too hard, what the hell does this woman eat?!).

He muttered at least a dozen 'thank you's' and hurried off, putting on his coat and shoes. House stood by the door, a car seat containing Levy in his hands. Wilson picked up the bags and slung them over his shoulder and picked up Emily in her car seat.

They opened the door, cold wind hitting them as they shuffled to their car quickly. They strapped the car seats in the back and Wilson hopped in next to them.

"You'll have to drive," he told House. "I'm not leaving them alone in the backseat."

House got in, and dropped his cane in the seat next to him.

"You're right, the mother always sits in the back with her baby."

Wilson rolled his eyes and was about to say something about how he was not a woman, but House didn't give him the time to answer.

He drove through the icy streets with care.

"I fucki—" Wilson gave him a look that would've killed him, if glares could kill. House rolled his eyes and continued. "I mean I freaking hate driving. I would've liked to take my motorcycle a lot better."

"Four people don't fit on a motorcycle. Plus, it's dangerous."

"Yes, mother."

"I'm not a woman. And yes, that reminds me, we haven't picked who'll be 'daddy'. We can't both be 'daddy', it'll confuse them."

House thought for a while and popped the gum he was chewing.

"Yeah, you can be daddy if you want. That word's for sissies."

"How is that for sis—"

"I on the other hand, wouldn't mind being called Greg. Or House. Or captain Gregory House. Or Mister Super—"

"How about papa?" Wilson suggested, interrupting House.

House nearly chocked on his chewing gum. He stopped at a red light and turned around to look at Wilson.

"Look at you, you have that constipated look on your face. Which means you're thinking. Is 'papa' the best you can think of?"

Wilson's face flushed. "Well...yeah. Father sounds too formal. Right?"

"Jesus, Wilson!" House burst into laughter. "Papa sounds like freaking little house on the prairie!"

He watched as House laughed. Wilson's blush deepened, but he smiled internally at House's genuine laugh.

They pulled up to PPTH and House parked the car in his parking space.

As soon as he got out and opened the door to pick up the car seat holding Levy, he spotted some people running towards them.

"No," he said, not believing what he saw.

Wilson glanced at him, busy with unstrapping Emily from her seat.

"Something wrong?"

He pointed at the now visible figures moving towards the car; it was Cuddy and The Ducklings.

They both could hear squealing; who did it come from? Certainly not Park...Cuddy? No. Cutthroat bitch? No, she wouldn't...Chase?

Thirteen started running faster than the rest and it became noticeable that it was her making all that noise.

"Babies!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Babies! Oh my God, House, they're adorable!" Thirteen squealed and jumped up and down, admiring the little baby sleeping in her car seat. The rest of the ducklings and Cuddy slowed down and stood behind Thirteen.

House eyed her and turned to Foreman. "What did you put in her coffee this morning?"

"Nothing, just—" Foreman tried to speak before House interrupted him.

"Yeah okay, well, I was just on my way to the Newborn Unit so if you could all, you know...not."

Cuddy sighed and looked at House. She crossed her arms and glanced at the sleeping twins a very confused Wilson was holding and then came back to rest on House's face.

"Chase and Thirteen are on clinic duty, but I'll let them take the babies to the Maternity Ward. They'll be okay, but for the meantime I'd like to talk to you in my office, please."

House watched as Chase carefully picked up Levy from his travel-carrier. He touched the newborn's face softly and gazed at his face. He then lifted his eyes to look at Wilson and House.

"He's beautiful," Chase whispered. Wilson looked on nervously and fidgeted with his jacket. One look at his face betrayed his nervous state of mind. "It's okay, Wilson. I'll take care of him."

Wilson nodded and turned to House. "I'll see you in your office later on?"

"No, actually, I'm coming with you."

Cuddy put her hands on her hips, which was her way of saying that she had no time to argue. "No. You're coming with me. I have to talk to you. Wilson's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

"What do you know about Wilson?!"

"Plenty, thank you." Cuddy snapped and turned to Wilson, Chase and Thirteen.

"Off you go now. There will be a nurse waiting for you on the third floor wing building. The checkup should go smoothly, but if it happens to take some more time please page me. I'll be in my office," she continued. "With House."

They walked away, and Foreman and Park gingerly followed. House and Cuddy were left alone.

"What's got your panties in a bunch? Are you on your period?"

Cuddy paled and crossed her arms.

"Ahh, I was right."

She turned and they started walking towards the entrance of the hospital.

"Again...you monitor my periods?!"

"No, actually, I don't. But I asked you if you were on your period, and you answered me with 'you monitor my periods?' Which proves that you are indeed bleeding uncontrollably for the next few days or so...Also, you're kinda bitchy today. More than usual."

They walked in the door and took the elevator silently, arriving a few seconds later at Cuddy's office. House flopped down on the chair and Cuddy walked over to sit at her desk. They sat silently for a few minutes before she turned to House.

"Just because I'm bitchy doesn't mean I'm on my period."

House rolled his eyes. "You're still on that, aren't you? Your clothes betray you today, my good lady. You're wearing loose pants and a blouse...the first three buttons are undone, as well as your pant's top button."

Cuddy gasped and quickly snapped her pant button closed. House continued.

"Which means you pigged out on something earlier this morning, or last night...you've been having cravings. What is it this month? Cookies? Red velvet cake?" House chuckled. "Oh, aaand," he paused for effect. "You have a huge pimple on the tip of your nose."

Cuddy self consciously touched her nose and looked at House.

"You're an ass."

"So I've heard. We aren't here to talk about your monthly troubles, are we? But if we are, I am free on Mondays and Fridays—"

"I'm not comfortable with you and Wilson having children." Cuddy said suddenly, cutting House off.

"What?"

"I'm just not sure that's the best for the twins...having to grow up with two fathers instead of one, and missing out on motherly love and—"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" House boomed, almost making Cuddy jump out of her chair.

"Me and Wilson are perfectly happy together and quite able to raise a baby—two, in this case— by ourselves! What gave you the idea that we couldn't?! I'm clean, I haven't used Vicodin since the reconstruction surgery and,"

He stopped short and stared at Cuddy in disbelief. "Is it—is it because we're gay?!"

Cuddy blushed and avoided House's eyes. "No, not because you have a preference for men instead of women...but,"

House held the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Cuddy, you still aren't over the fact that I don't like you anymore."

She said nothing for a while before speaking up. "I am over you, House. I can assure you I am."

"Then what the hell is the problem here?!"

"You know...you know about the whole Chase debacle," she said in a rushed whisper.

House thought for a while and slowly nodded.

A few months ago, when House and Wilson had been dating for over 2 years, Chase had confessed to House that he liked him and that he wanted to be in a relationship with him. When House had said nothing, he had tried other ways of 'persuading' House to break up with Wilson.

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House had been in his office, throwing his red and gray ball against the glass walls. He had heard the sound of the door opening and closing.

"If you're looking for Park, she's off with Foreman and Thirteen testing samples," he said, not bothering to turn around.

"Um, hi."

House swirled his chair around and came face to face with the blonde Australian.

"Oh, I thought you were—nevermind. Lab results?"

"That's not what I came to talk about," the younger man said as he moved towards House. House looked at Chase with a confused look and went back to throwing the ball against the wall.

"Cameron problems?" he said as he threw the ball in the wastebasket.

Silence followed. Awkward silence. The kind that made you want to just disappear.

"No. 'You' problems."

"'Me' problems?"

"Yeah," Chase said as he moved to face House. He was unbearably close now, too close for House's comfort.

"Okay...what problems? If it's just about the purple hair dye I put in your shampoo—"

"What?!"

"Nevermind. So, tell me why you're here," he said as he removed his glasses.

Instead of talking, Chase moved and swiftly sat down on House's lap.

House dropped his glasses and almost chucked the younger man him on the floor.

"What the hell, Chase?" he tried to stand up, but damn, the blonde was heavier and stronger than he seemed to be.

"Shut up."

"Shut up?! Okay, somebody must have spiked your drink or some—"

"I said shut up!"

House looked at the man sitting on his lap. He was stunned and couldn't speak. Push him off! his brain yelled but his limps were paralyzed. Chase's eyes were fixed on House's face.

"Shut up..." came the soft whisper as Chase leaned in. He was barely a few inches apart from House's lips. "...Greg," the blonde sighed as he leaned in to seal the distance between them.

He smelled and tasted of cinnamon and coffee, and his lips were unfamiliar to House, who was used to Wilson's taste and smell. House wanted to fight, he wanted to scream obscenities and push the man off of him, but he didn't do anything. He didn't move, didn't kiss back.

Nothing.

But when he felt Chase trying to deepen the kiss...he pushed the man off and Chase landed with an oomph on the floor.

"What the fuck?!" he yelled, his voice booming in the office.

Chase sat on the floor, his cheeks still red and his lips swollen.

"Greg—"

"No, you do not call me Greg! I'm your boss...what the hell where you thinking, Chase?! Oh my God."

"Let me explain,"

"Damn right you're gonna explain yourself! You don't throw yourself on people like that! Dammit Chase, that's harassment! You're lucky I'm not gonna press charges!"

"Look, House. Let me...let me just explain myself, okay?"

House sat down on his chair and held his face in his hands. He saw Chase move and adjust himself on the floor.

"I—I like you. A lot. And I wanted to show you—"

"By harassing me?!"

Chase flinched at the words and shook his head.

"No, I just...I don't know. I was mad, seeing you and Wilson together and"

"Chase, we've been together for years! I don't want to cheat on him! It's almost our 2 year anniversary for Pete's sake, why didn't you say anything earlier?! You better hope Cuddy doesn't hear about it or—"

There was a cough, and the two men turned to see Cuddy standing at the door of the office. She looked at House, and then at Chase, and then said, "Chase, please come with me."

There was a stunned silence as Chase picked himself up.

The blonde looked at House and reluctantly stood up and followed Cuddy out, turning back once to look at the stunned man sitting at his desk.

Cuddy didn't fire Chase, but she did put a permanent mark on his file. Chase didn't try anything after that and became quite distant.

House never told Wilson.

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Snapping out, House looked at Cuddy.

"Yeah, I remember."

"Okay. Well, you must know that he isn't over you. Neither is Cameron, but somehow...somehow she managed to forget about her infatuation with you for a while."

"Well, I can't help it if people keep on falling in love with me! First Cameron, then the wombat, then you...I must say, I'm a charming young cripple but—"

"I'm not in love with you anymore."

House considered that. "Then please tell me why I'm here and not with Wilson at the Newborn Unit...? And don't give me crap about me not being able to raise the twins."

"But that's why we're here...but you want to hear none of it."

"Correct."

"Fine. You're a good doctor House, looking past your twisted views and ideas and behavior...you're really a good doctor and I don't want to be doing this hospital a disfavor by firing you. You and Wilson can still work here, of course. No public display of affection as always, you know some patients are uncomfortable with that, never mind the nurses and doctors, they're used to you. That rule goes for every doctor."

House nodded. "Whatever. I guess we're done here."

He stood up to leave, but Cuddy grabbed his sleeve.

"House...congratulations. I'm happy for you, believe it or not. If you have any questions, or you need references for nannies, you can call me. I'll be happy to help."

She smiled softly and stood up.

House nodded again, and walked out of Cuddy's office.

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"There you are, House!" Wilson said as he saw House approach. "Where have you been?!"

"Cuddy wanted to talk to me."

Wilson cocked his head. "Okay, how did it go?"

"Good," House answered in one word. "How are the kids?"

Wilson smiled and they walked together in the room where they held the newborns.

"Here, put this on," he gave House a gown and a face mask.

They walked to the corner of the room, trying to ignore the sounds of fussy babies, and then House recognized two little babies.

Their twins could stand out in a room; he thought they were the cutest out of all the babies in here.

"Levy's alright," Wilson picked up the squirming baby. "His lungs and nasal passages are clear. His organs developed perfectly and he's breathing fine. Guess what?! He opened his eyes when you were gone! They're blue!"

House gazed at Levy.

"Blue? Like, blue-blue or blue-grey?"

"Kinda like yours...they're amazing."

"That's odd, you don't have blue eyes in your family." House thought.

Wilson put down the baby and picked up Emily. "Yeah, but see, maybe in Hayley's family there was someone with blue eyes. I mean, I know she has green eyes and all but maybe the blue was recessive and showed up in Levy. Emily has brown eyes though. Like me."

"Like you." House smiled.

They looked at the babies, and a sense of pride and happiness engulfed them both.

"I'm happy, House."

"I'm happy too, Wilson." He brought Wilson closer to him and kissed the top of Wilson's unruly brown hair.

"So, can we go home?"

"Yes, let's go home."

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It took House and Wilson 3 full hours before they arrived at their house; the nurses and doctors at the hospital had all cooed at the babies, and it took everything to pry Thirteen off of the twins.

But finally, they were home. They sat down in the middle of the living room on the couch, Emily on Wilson's lap and Levy on House's. They were quiet and content with watching the twins sleep.

"What do we do now?" House asked, caressing Levy's tiny fingers.

"Well, we should put them in the nursery, and I'll clean the place up a little. You can warm the milk up and I'll cook dinner in a while."

House nodded and stood up, cradling the baby in his arms. "Sure. I'll just put Emily—no, Levy— Oh my God."

"Hmm?"

"Wilson which one's which?!"

Wilson looked at the baby House was cradling. It took everything to not burst into laughter.

"Oh my God. Okay. Where are the hospital bracelets?"

"I took them off in the car."

"Okay, we don't need to panic. They're both wearing yellow...so we can't tell. And they have the same color hair...okay. Okay. Just look under their diapers, House!"

Wilson chuckled at House's face and moved to the kitchen. He watched House walk to the nursery and then he turned to the fridge, removing some things to use to cook them some dinner.

"It's Levy!" he heard House call.

"Put him in blue or something!" he shouted back, grabbing a pan.

"M'kay!" came House's answer.

Soon, Wilson heard House's feet and cane down the hall. House started removing the books and glasses on the living room table and tuned to Wilson.

"It's a good thing they aren't both boys,"

Wilson chuckled. "It is, isn't it? We should just dress Em in pink and Levy in blue. It'll be okay when Emily's hair grows in, so we could put little bows or something. But now, they both have the same hair. We'll deal with it."

"Kay, princess. What're making me?"

"I'm not even gonna start on the 'princess' thing again. I'm making pasta and mashed potatoes and vegetables. And Laura dropped off the milk." Wilson glanced at the clock. "It's only 5:30. We'll eat, then take a shower, then we can set up the rest of the nursery with the diapers and clothes and supplies and whatnot."

"I'll go start on the room. I'll be in the nursery." House turned around and walked out of the kitchen. "And I don't eat vegetables, Wilson! They're icky."

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	4. Chapter 4

~The first few weeks~

The first few weeks with the twins were the hardest weeks of Wilson's and House's life.

Magazines, cups, and documents on the living room table were replaced with bibs, bottles and toys.

Wilson's clean and roomy bathroom now contained a changing table. Drawers overflowed with diapers and baby clothes instead of the usual dress shirts and ties. The fridge displayed bottles of milk and formula, and pushed the leftover Chinese food and House's home cooking to the back.

To be honest, it was one of the happiest moment of both House and Wilson's lives.

Of course, like every new parent, they had to adjust to their new lifestyles. The babies kept them up for most of the night, demanding to be fed and changed. Cuddy had given both of them weeks off from work (which was, by the way, very nice of her and quite unlike her usual ways).

The babies woke up every few hours, causing Wilson to stumble down the hall into the nursery to soothe the crying child. Usually it was baby Levy causing a ruckus and waking his little sister up. Wilson then had to warm up the milk and feed them, or bring them to the bathroom for a fresh change of clothes and diapers.

This went on for 3 or 4 times every night; until one day, Wilson had enough and decided he couldn't run back and forth down the hall.

It was an unusually warm Tuesday night, and around 12 A.M, the two men heard the piercing cries of a baby. House sighed in his sleep and rolled over to poke Wilson.

"Jimmy, the baby's crying."

"Hmm...n...no, I don't want potatoes..."

House shook Wilson harder. "Wilson, snap out of it. You're dreaming."

The now grumbling man rolled over. "Hmm...Whah?"

"It's Emily this time, I can hear her cry."

Her stood up and padded down the hallway, running a tired hand through his hair and following the cries of the baby. He entered the nursery and approached Emily's crib.

"Hey honey," he murmured, picking up the squirming baby. "What's wrong?"

Baby Emily stopped her fussing and opened her brown eyes. Wilson checked her diaper and found her clean and dry, and tried feeding her, only to see that she refused the milk.

"You're sneaky. You aren't hungry at all." Wilson put her against his chest, her little head fitting in the crook of his neck perfectly. He went over to Levy's crib, the baby boy not disturbed by his sister's cries at all, and picked him up.

He walked back to his bedroom and noticed House sitting up against the headboard of the bed.

"Whatcha got there?" House asked, smiling.

"Grocery shopping."

He handed House Emily and went back to bed himself, putting Levy on his chest.

"She was fussy and didn't want to go back to sleep...so, I figured they'll be okay here."

House nodded in agreement and put Emily on his chest as well. She was already going back to sleep, her hands curled near her face and her chest heaving up and down every time she took a breath.

"Think we'll be able to sleep like this?"

"Well, yeah," House answered, fixing his pillow and planning to go back to sleep. "I mean, I will. So will Em. I don't know about you or Levy; you roll around a lot in your sleep."

Wilson huffed. "I do not,"

"You do. You can go to sleep facing me and end up with one leg in my face and your head hanging over the bed frame. Better not drop Levy."

Wilson paled, and then reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. "I'm going back to sleep, goodnight."

"Good night."

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Thankfully, both Wilson and House had managed to sleep without moving at all for the remainder of the night. The babies had not woken up again and all four of them had slept peacefully.

House had woken up before Wilson, Emily wrapped up in his arms and still sleeping. He stood up and went to the nursery and put her back in her crib.

She woke up instantly and fussed, her eyes fixed on House's face and her legs kicking.

"Hey hey hey," House whispered, picking her up again. "You were sleeping just fine a second ago, why are you crying now? Don't wake up Wilson."

The baby looked at him with interest, and House walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. He put Em in his lap and trailed a finger down her cheek (which had become a habit of his).

"Well," he started, looking at the time (which read 8:40 A.M). "We have time before that lazy old guy wakes up. So how about a story?"

House waited for an answer and chuckled when he realized he wouldn't be getting one.

"It's crazy, isn't it?" he asked to no one in particular. "I'm speaking to you. A baby. You probably can't understand a word I'm saying. But if you are, listen up, Em."

Emily gazed at her father and gurgled.

"Well. Once upon a time, there was a guy. Yeah. And his name was...uh, Gregory. And he was very very sad."

He waited and listened, listened the the silence that engulfed him and he was oddly comforted by it.

"One day, Gregory hurt himself very bad. And then he became very mean to everyone he knew, because his leg hurt very much. He didn't have lots of friends to talk to and he got the lonely-sickness. The only thing that made him happy was another man, whose name was James. Now, James and Gregory were friends for a long long time, even though sometimes Gregory was mean to his friend."

Emily's eyes still searched House's face. She comforted him with her soft baby noises.

"James was married and divorced and had lots of girlfriends. Then one day, Gregory moved in with James for a while. Gregory loved James very much but he was too scared to tell James, because he thought that if he told him, maybe James wouldn't want to be friends anymore. So he hid all his feelings. But Gregory didn't know that James liked him too."

"They grew closer and closer and then one day, James said to Gregory that he liked him very much and Gregory said he did too, very very much...and then, uh, stuff happened."

House chuckled.

"Yeah. Stuff happened. Then Gregory and James lived together and were very happy and Gregory stopped being so mean. Well. Not really, but a little. He had surgery on his leg to fix it, but it wasn't really fixed. But he got a little better and he stopped using nasty pills. One day, James and Gregory decided they wanted kids, so they went and found a nice lady to give them a baby."

He poked her little nose. "That's your mommy. She was very nice and gave Gregory and James two little babies all to themselves. And those little babies became part of their lives. And that's the end of the story. Well. For now, anyway. The end." He smiled.

"Also, don't think I'm a sap for telling you this story."

Emily gurgled at House. They sat together like this, enjoying each others company.

Wilson had to swallow back tears as he watched the two of them. He didn't want House to know that he had been eavesdropping, so he stayed hidden behind the hallway wall and smiled.

"So," he heard the man murmur. "How about we fix you something to eat, and then we'll wake up Wilson?"

Wilson hurriedly went down the hall and back into his room. Levy was awake and he had started to fuss, so Wilson picked him up and walked back to the kitchen. He faked a yawn.

"Hey House." he greeted him.

House turned around. "Hey sleeping beauty. Finally decided to wake up, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm still tired though. Where's Em?"

"She's on the play-mat, in the living room. You should put Ravioli there." House eyed the baby in Wilson's arms.

"That name's gonna follow him for the rest of his life, thanks to you," Wilson retorted as he walked to the living room to place Levy next to his sister.

"It will, I'll make sure of it. By the way, what do you want on your macadamia pancakes? There's chocolate, banana, syrup..."

"Banana please." Wilson answered as he opened the fridge to take the orange juice out. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"Good for once! Having Levy sleeping next to you must have scared you into sleeping normally," House laughed. "And-"

The phone rang and Wilson put the glass of juice on the table to pick it up.

"Hello?...yes, he's here. Who's speaking?"

Wilson frowned and held the phone out to House. "You know a 'Dr. Williamsburgen"?

House took the phone. "No, I would've remembered if I met someone with such a ridiculous name. Hello?"

Wilson chuckled and went back to fixing breakfast.

"Yes, is this Doctor Gregory House?" the voice on the phone asked.

"Speaking."

"This is Dr. Williamsburgen from the cardiovascular unit at PPTH. Are you the legal guardian of Emily May Wilson?"

House paled and barely stuttered out a 'yes'.

"I'd like you to please bring in Emily for a little checkup with me, Dr. House. We've found something that wasn't normal in her EKG, back when she was brought to PPTH for a regular checkup. I'd like to follow through with this, it'll be very important for you to bring her. As soon as possible would be best. Is Thursday morning good for you and your-uh, partner?"

"Y-yes, that's fine. We'll be there, thanks."

House hung up and sat down on the chair. Wilson glanced at his pale face and frowned.

"You okay?"

The older man shook his head and looked at his partner. "No. We have to bring in Emily for a checkup at PPTH, Thursday. It's important."

"Is she okay?!" Wilson sat next to House.

"I don't know. I-I don't know. That wasn't the newborn center, that was the cardiovascular unit. Something's wrong."


	5. Chapter 5

~The first 6 months~

If you ever told House and Wilson that they would spend their first few weeks with a sick baby at the hospital, they would have told you to either:

a) Sod off.

b) House would probably hit you with his cane.

But that is exactly what happened. No, House didn't hit anyone with his cane (well, not that many people anyway) and none of them told anyone to sod off.

Both doctors ran in and out of hospitals for two weeks, taking care of baby Emily. When Dr. Williamsburgen called House and Wilson that fateful Wednesday a few weeks earlier, both men rushed their baby to the hospital the next day. What followed next was weeks and weeks of nothing but doctors, doctors, and uh, more doctors.

Emily was diagnosed with A-fib (atrial fibrillation), which is a condition that affects the heart and its beating pattern. Emily had no symptoms and the doctors said that it was idiopathic, which meant that this condition happened to her for an unknown cause. When she grows a little older, she would have to take medication for it to regulate her heartbeat and she would have frequent doctor visits.

It was hard to come around the fact that their little girl would be sick for most, if not the rest of her life. But it was reassuring to know that she would be taken care of. Wilson and House would make sure she took her medication, when she was old enough to. And of course, both men were happy to hear that it wasn't something serious, like cancer.

Levy was also checked at the hospital, but he was 100% healthy.

Now that everything was alright (well, almost alright anyway), maybe life could go back to normal for the two doctors. If anyone needed normality in their lives, it would be House and Wilson.

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The babies have hit their new milestone: they were both six months old, and half a year has passed already (much to House and Wilson's astonishment). They were spending their time eating, pooping, squirming a lot and wriggling and getting to touch anything they could get their little hands on. A nanny came in during the day to take care of the twins, while both men were at work. Wilson now came home a little earlier than he did before the twins were born, and House avoided staying at the hospital too late.

At home, Wilson cooked and they would spend their evenings together in the living room, much like how they were spending this Thursday afternoon.

House was watching the game on TV and House was cooking in the kitchen. The twins were on the play-mat on the floor, squirming around and trying to crawl.

"What're we having for dinner, honey?" House asked as he made his way into the kitchen, standing behind the oncologist.

He could hear Wilson's sign all the way from inside the oven. "I'm not your honey,"

House almost chuckled. "You know, I'm not an expert or anything but I'm pretty sure sticking your head into an oven isn't pretty safe. But continue as you wish, I can see your butt well from here."

"It's not my fault," Wilson whined. "I think there's a rubber ducky in the back and it's melting." He removed his head from the hot oven and wiped his sweaty forehead.

"You mean Mr. Ducky?"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "You named your rubber ducky Mr. Ducky? House, how old are you? I would expect this from a child, maybe a baby, Emily or Levy, but honestly you're a child stuck in an adult's body."

"Hey, it's not my fau-" House started to say, but he was interrupted by piercing cries of a baby.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Wilson started to say. "Set the table, will you? The baby food's in the cupboard and the veggies are in the bowl."

The younger man rushed to the living room and picked up Levy, whose cheeks were full of tears and snot.

"Eww, use a tissue," Wilson wiped Levy's little nose. He picked up Emily, who was already squirming away to the other side of the play-mat, and brought them back to the kitchen.

He set the twins in their high chairs and House brought their dinner to the table. "Dinner's ready, eat up."

They sat on opposite ends of each high chair, and each men held a small spoon in their hands.

"Here we go again," Wilson whispered, dipping the spoon in the mashed potatoes and baby food mix. To both of them, it looked utterly disgusting and quite unappetizing, but to the twins it was dinner and they greedily opened their mouths.

The first two minutes of dinner went fine, and House and Wilson made small talk. Usually, when they fed the twins, hell breaks loose. But today, oh today, everything seems to go according to-

"Bah!" Emily slammed her hand in her bowl of food.

"Oh, no no, that's bad," Wilson said, picking up a napkin and cleaning her hands. "No, good babies don't put their fingers in their food. They wait patiently until somebody feeds them," the spoon was dipped into the potatoes again and brought to the baby's lips. "Like this."

Emily's mouth stayed close.

House laughed and continued to feed Levy, who was complying with everything he did and eating calmly.

"You laugh at my pain," Wilson muttered as he poked Emily's lips with the food.

"Emily, look at daddy," he tried again. He brought the spoon to his lips. "Yum yum!"

Emily didn't buy it. She looked at him and frowned, but her mouth stayed closed.

Wilson tried again. "Open. Your. Mouth. Like this, ahhhhhhhhh." but she wouldn't budge. House continued laughing and scrapped the last of Levy's food into the baby's mouth.

"Em, I can't believe you're making me do this," the younger man groaned. He brought the spoon to his mouth and took a bite out of it, swallowing, making grimaces and almost chucking it into the napkin. "Yum yum?"

"Yaah?" Emily opened her mouth and immediately Wilson stuck the spoon in her mouth."Good girl!"

Levy, who was sitting next to his sister and had finished his dinner, moved his hands close to his sister's face. He poked his fingers inside his sister's mouth and started making a mess.

"No!" House and Wilson yelled at the same time.

But they twins were sneaky. They seemed to think that their fathers' reactions were hilarious, and both of them started to fling their food around.

Mashed potatoes, veggies, baby food were thrown everywhere. Food landed in their hair and faces and the twins were messy, giggling as if amused.

"Every time. Every time, Greg. I was surprised they were calm enough to feed them half of their dinner, never mind the rest."

House chuckled. "Almost as bad as you trying to cook something other than macadamia pancakes!"

"Shut up," Wilson said, but he smiled anyway. "We should go bathe them, they're messy, come on."

They picked up the squirming twins and carried both of them to the bathroom. House filled the bath tub with water and picked up Emily. Wilson had already dumped Levy's dirty clothes and was about to put him in the bathtub.

"Wilson, I am appalled!" House said, covering Emily's eyes with his hand and glaring at Wilson.

The younger man looked around, confused. "What? Did I leave something in here?"

"What do you mean, 'something'"?

"'Something' as in the 'thing' we forgot to put back in its rightful place when we used it in here."

House chuckled. "Oh no, this 'thing' is nice and packed in its rightful place under the bed. No need to be shy about toys, Wilson."

Wilson's ears and neck reddened. "Don't say that in front of the kids!"

"As if they'll remember! And if they do, I hope they'll use it to embarrass you everyday." House stated as he shut the water off. "No, what I'm saying, is that you're being quite rude, can't you see I'm trying to bathe a young lady here! Geez, a little privacy?!"

Wilson rolled his eyes (again, it seems like it was all he did around House) and started to soap up Levy's body. "Well excuse us. But I don't think they really mind, well not now anyway."

House gasped and turned Emily away from Wilson and Levy. "Gentlemen these days! Don't worry Emily, don't look at those two." He turned away and started to cleanse her, but Wilson was able to see his smile.

When the twins were clean, they went to the nursery. Each baby had their own changing table, and Wilson took Emily and House took Levy. They changed them and put on fresh diapers and clothes, and House tied Emily's hair back with a little pink bow.

Em's hair started to grow in and now they were able to tie her soft brown hair into two little pig tails. House would never let Wilson know this but he loved Emily's hair. He loved everything about it, the texture, the feel of her soft brown curls. When Wilson was not looking, he liked to tie little bows and play with it as if it were a doll's hair.

House would probably die if Wilson found out.

The twins looked so much alike that Em's hair was the only thing to tell them apart, except Levy's blue eyes. Of course, they dressed Em in pink and Levy in blue, but if you didn't look carefully (and didn't pay attention to their clothes or hair color) you could mix them up.

When the twins were clean and ready to sleep, Wilson tucked them in their cribs. They were tired and already drifting off to sleep, and Wilson gave a kiss to each of them, on their foreheads, and turned to House.

"What?"

"Kiss them goodnight, House."

"But I have mashed potatoes on my nose and I'll dirty them," House whined, but the oncologist bought none of it.

"Fine." and House bent over, carefully, and kissed the top of the babies' heads. "That good enough for you?"

Wilson's happy face warmed House. "Of course that's good. You look adorable with them, it's like you're an entire different person."

House rolled his eyes hugged Wilson.

"What are you doing?" the brunette asked.

"Picking you up," came House's muffled reply. And he did just that, he carried Wilson like a person would carry his bride on their wedding night.

"Where are you bringing me?" Wilson almost giggled as House limped down the hallway.

"To...the...bathroom, go take a bath, you're covered in mashed potatoes and baby food and you smell of diapers."

He brought him to the bathroom and stuck him in there.

Wilson looked at him unbelievably.

"Fine, but don't expect to join me," and he closed to the door, locking it behind him. House's grin faded.

"Wait what? No, let me in!" he whined.

"No!" came the reply in the bathroom. "You can come in after I'm done for your shower, after I'm done, since you were so rude," The water started running in the bathroom and House heard Wilson getting ready for his shower.

House stayed behind the door and crossed his arms. Well, damn. His plan backfired.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Wilson came out an hour later, he found House sitting in the front of the bathroom door, a Nintendo game console in his hands.

"How long does it take a man to wash his hair and body?! You took an hour in there!"

Wilson scoffed and ran a hand through his wet hair. "I like to be clean,"

"You take longer than my mother!"

He stood up and entered the bathroom. "You know, it would have been easier if you'd let me in earlier! We could've saved water and-"

"Yeah, because we would 'shower'." Wilson replied from behind the closed door.

House suppressed a chuckle. Wilson knew him very well.

And so he took his shower, taking no longer than 5 minutes. When he was done, he threw his soiled clothes in the hamper and limped to his and Wilson's room.

Wilson was in bed already, his body visible under the sheets. He had a book in his hands and was reading it, and looked up when House walked in.

"There you are," he said, sitting up and putting his book away. "Let's go to sleep, I'm tired."

House slipped in the bed, turning off the bedside lamp. He wouldn't fall asleep directly and neither would Wilson; it became a little habit of theirs to stay awake for a while, to make sure the twins were sleeping and would not wake up.

Wilson rolled over on his back.

"Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"You said the box was under the bed, right?"

"Which box?"

Wilson sighed. "Don't make me say it. You know. The 'special' box."

House turned over to look at Wilson. "Yeah, it is. Why?" his eyes gleamed as he awaited the other man's answer.

"Because, I don't think it's safe down there. We should put it in a closet or something, what if the nanny finds it?"

House chuckled and put his hand behind his head, laying on his back. "It's not my fault you have a box of 'special' things down there."

"It is too!" Wilson practically yelled. "You freakin' dragged me into that store on my birthday. Oh my God. It was so embarrassing House, what if someone we knew was in there?!"

"We'll probably run into Cuddy there one of these days," House answered, laughing.

"I still can't believe you dragged me there, the cashier was no older than 25 and she was young and she stared at me and it was embarrassing, but you basically touched everything in that store!"

"Yeah, but you liked it because it was your birthday present,"

Wilson huffed. "I didn't say I didn't like the present. But if someone happens to find that box full of toys you gave me, I'm blaming it on you."

"Sure, blame the cripple," came House's reply, but inside he was laughing hysterically. He remembered Wilson's face when he dragged him into an Adult Store on his birthday a few months ago. Wilson was so embarrassed that day that he practically blushed every time he crossed eyes with someone, feeling as if they knew what he'd been up to.

He started to doze off.

"Hey, House?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Can I be the big spoon tonight?"

"Why?"

Wilson poked House's stomach. "Because I wanna know how it feels to be the big spoon instead of the little spoon. I'm always the little spoon, always, all the time. Please?"

House grumbled and turned over, allowing Wilson to spoon him.

"You're warm," came Wilson's reply.

"So are you," House said. "Now, I'm going to sleep so don't try any funny business."

Wilson chuckled and nestled his neck into the crook of House's back.

"Goodnight, sleep well."

"'Night,"

A few seconds later, Wilson whispered in House's ears.

"...Greg are you asleep?"

"Not anymore,"

"I just wanna know...when did you start thinking that maybe you weren't so straight, that maybe you were gay?"

House thought for a while. "After Cuddy."

"Really?"

"No," he chuckled. "High school, freshman year. But I thought it was just a phase, you know? What about you?"

Wilson was thankful he was hidden and that the room was dark. "When I met you," he said, blushing in the dark.

"You make me blush, James Wilson," said House turning over and kissing Wilson on the nose. "I love you,"

"I love you too, House. A lot." He kissed House's neck.

"D'you think you could make me some pancakes tomorrow?" Wilson blew hot air into House's back.

"Okay. Go to sleep, Wilson."

"Goodnight, House. For real this time."


	6. Chapter 6

At about noon the next morning, Dr. House barged into his office, interrupting the conversation going on between his team.

"There you are!" Cameron exclaimed. "We were beginning to think that you wouldn't show up today,"

"That wouldn't be a surprise." muttered Taub as he sipped his coffee.

House frowned. "What's got your panties in a bunch? I'm here now, aren't I?" He went over to his desk and put his bag down.

"Why were you late?" Kutner asked.

House chuckled. "Well. There are many reasons...one of them being that Wilson's a cuddler."

"What?"

"I said, Wilson's a cuddler. You wanna know what else Wilson is? A scratcher."

He enjoyed seeing the blushes seep into the cheeks of everyone in the room. Still, Kutner frowned.

"What do you mean he's a scratcher?"

"Kutner, please, not now," Thirteen mumbled, holding her head in her hands. House's grin intensified.

"I mean, Wilson's a scratcher. And he needs to trim his nails. No really, look!" House lifted the back of his shirt up, revealing shallow red marks all around his back. Nail marks, definitely nail marks. His team cringe.

"That must hurt," Park remarked, standing up to poke at the marks.

"Hey!" House exclaimed, pulling his shirt down and turning to look at her. "No touching, it hurts!"

"Is that what Wilson likes to do?" Cameron smirked. "Scratch?"

House cocked his head and hummed. "Nope," he said, popping the 'p' at the end. "He likes to do other things, like-"

"Is that why you're late?" Taub asked, interrupting. "Your little...how do you say, 'session'?

"It wasn't a session, thank you very much for your contributions, Dr. Nose. Enough. Do we have a case?"

"37 year old male, admitted this morning for chest pains and excessive sweating. We already checked if he had had a possible heart attack, but the results were negative," Thirteen said as she ruffed through the papers on the desk.

"Tell him to lay off on the fries and burgers. Next?"

"25 year old female, symptoms include fever, sore throat, rash on her back and stomach, reoccurring cold for the past 3 weeks. Maybe Lupus?" asked Foreman.

"It's not Lupus, it's never Lupus. These are all boring, I'm not some regular doctor, I'm a diagnostician for God's sake! Find me interesting cases, now!"

"Well maybe you should ask Cuddy," Chase spoke up for the first time. "She's the one giving you all your cases."

House smiled. "Oh, no. We won't be seeing a lot of Cuddy today. She isn't coming."

"Why not? What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," he scoffed. "She's babysitting Emily and Levy today. She was off from work today anyway, so you know, she offered to take care of them for a day. How hard could it be?"

"Why didn't you ask me to take care of the twins?!" Thirteen asked, a hurtful expression clear on her face.

"You have work to do, you can't possible take care of two kids while you hunt for my next patient. Off you go, all of you!"

The ducklings reluctantly stood up and walked out, in search for a case to bring back to House. House sat back in his chair and thought about calling Cuddy to check up on the twins...but no. He promised Wilson he wouldn't be overprotective...it's just a few hours, what could go wrong? Besides, he could decide to randomly check on them during the day.

Satisfied with his decision, he leaned back on the chair and suddenly cringed.

Oh, yeah.

Wilson definitely needs to trim his nails.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where's House?!"Cuddy screamed as she barged in the office. The team were gathered around the desk, analyzing the results of a recent MRI scan of their new patient.

Cuddy's hair was completely disheveled; her clothes were wrinkly and there were multiple food stains on her blouse, she looked tired and worn out. On one hip sat baby Emily and on the other, sat Levy. Both babies were crying and obviously trying to pry themselves away from Cuddy.

The piercing cries of the twins brought Wilson to House's office, where he stood behind Cuddy.

The team simultaneously pointed to the desk at the corner of the room, where House was bouncing his grey and red baseball against the wall. When House saw Cuddy approach, he stopped his bouncing and stood up.

"What did you do to them? They're crying!" he said as he picked up Emily holding her against his chest.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and sighed. "They're little devils, that's what they are! My Rachel wasn't like this when she was this young!"

Wilson worriedly approached her and picked up Levy, who continued his sobbing. He held him and patted his back, murmuring soft words in his ears. Eventually, he calmed down.

"That doesn't explain why they're crying. Maybe they needed their diapers changed or something."

"I did!" Cuddy screeched, drawing the attention of the ducklings, who stared and eavesdropped at their conversation. "Five times! And I thought they were sleepy, so I tried to make them take a nap. And I thought they were too warm, so I tried a nice cool bath. And I thought they were hungry, so I tried to feed them some baby food, but nothing! They won't stop crying! Especially Levy, he was screaming nonstop, asking for his 'da'! What is that, some kind of toy or blankie or something?!"

Wilson sighed and kissed Levy's head. "No, that's House. That's Levy's name for him."

Cuddy sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Well he has him now, doesn't he?! I'm going home, I need a drink. Or two." She walked out, muttering something about little devils and baby food.

"Ooookay," House said, drawing out the word. "Well, I only have about an hour till I go home, so they can stick around."

Wilson nodded and walked out, leaving House, the team, and now Emily and Levy in silence. House picked Levy up and sat him on his lap, while he let Emily roll around on the floor with his red and grey ball.

The ducklings stared.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get back to work!"

"It's just..." Park started to say. "It's uh, the-"

"Babies?" House finished for her. "They won't bother you, they're harmless. Unless you piss them off. In that case, yes, they'll bother you."

"Yeah, but...they look so strange next to you. You don't look so menacing with them."

"Contrary to popular beliefs, I'm not always a grumpy cripple who complains about everything."

"Won't they, you know...cry and stuff?" Park asked.

House cocked his head and stared. "Interesting. You've never held or taken care of a baby before."

"What? Noo," she started to protest.

Kutner shook his head and picked up Emily from the floor and handed her to Park. "Hold her. She's harmless."

Park cringed away from the squirming baby and shook her head. "No. What if I break her or something?"

"Don't worry, I've got a 2 year guarantee", House said sarcastically. "Hold her or get back to work. I've got to pee, anyway. I'll be back." he said as he took his cane and walked out.

"Oh my God," Park said. "He's left his alone with the little devils? What do we do?!"

Now it was Thirteen's turn to roll her eyes. "He's just gone for a minute. Gimme,"

"Oh, no. I wouldn't let her near a baby if it was up to me," Foreman grumbled. "Last time she wouldn't let go of my niece. I'm off to do a PET scan, don't break or hurt anything."

"You're not the boss of me," Thirteen said in a childish manner. "And I wouldn't have to obsess over other people's kids if you gave me some of my own,"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh," everyone except Thirteen and Foreman exclaimed.

"Now we're getting personal," Taub whispered, clearly enjoying this.

"I already told you," Foreman sighed. "I'm not ready for kids around my house."

Thirteen crossed her arms. "We're talking about this when we get home, Eric."

As soon as Foreman and Thirteen walked out to do the PET scan, the rest of the team were left alone with the twins. Cameron and Taub followed Thirteen out.

"How long does it take to pee?" Chase muttered, glancing at his watch. "He's been gone for over 5 minutes!"

"Maybe he's going number 2," Park offered.

"You know House. He would've told us if he was gonna take a shit, he's that vulgar,"

"Chase!" Kutner said, pointing to the twins sitting in front of them. "Don't say words like that around them, what if they learn it from you?"

"They'll learn it from House, trust me. And how old are they, 9 months? They don't speak yet."

"Yes, but don't give them ideas. We should just calmly watch them until House gets back. Uh. Okay. Who here is good with babies?" Kutner asked.

The two men stared at Park. "Don't look at me, I haven't touched a baby in my life." she said, holding up her arms in defense.

"Well, it's either me or Chase, then," Kutner said. He picked up Emily and handed her to Chase.

Chase carefully picked up the child and cradled her in his arms. He almost smiled; he was that happy for contact, any kind of contact that could relate to House. In reality, he was still very much in love with him but agreed to keep his distance. Wilson was a friend to him and although he wanted House more than anything, he couldn't do much. House had a good life with Wilson and he had 2 kids of his own to take care of. It wouldn't be fair to ruin everything for him; no matter how much he wanted him.

Emily was warm and her belly was round and soft, due to being fed earlier. In her brown curly hair was a little yellow bow that matched her jumpsuit, and she smelled faintly of soap and...House.

Chase recognized House's scent; not in a creepy way, but in a way that he just...notices it. He smells it when House walks into a room, he smells it when he walks past him. It takes everything to hold back and not burrow his face in the crook of House's neck and inhale deeply. He smelled clean. He smelled of soap and aftershave and coffee and it drove him wild.

"You okay man?"

Park and Kutner stared at Chase.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. So, let's just finish what we were doing."

"Don't you guys think we should wait for House? I don't want to do something wrong to one of the babies or something," Park said, worriedly looking at the twins.

"Wait-" Kutner interrupted, sniffing the air. "What the hell is that smell?"

"What?" Chase asked, smelling the air as well. "I don't smell-ohh,"

"Ew," Park held her nose and walked to the other side of the room. "I think a diaper's full."

"So? What do you expect me to do?" Kutner asked, panicking. "I can't change them!"

"Yes, you can," Chase said, shifting Emily. "Or we can wait for House and deal with the smell. But he's been gone almost 15 minutes and he probably isn't coming back now."

"I don't want to change a diaper!" Kutner said, running a tired hand through his hair. "I don't even know how to!"

"Can't be that hard," Chase mumbled, setting Emily down and lifting up Levy. "We'll just try."

He cradled Levy and started walking out of the office, Kutner (who was holding Emily) and Park reluctantly followed. They walked to the closest women's bathroom and stood outside the door.

"What are we waiting for?" Park asked.

"Um, if you haven't noticed, we're not certified to enter a women's bathroom. Except you, of course." Kutner explained.

"So, he's a boy, you should go into the boy's bathroom!"

Chase rolled his eyes and barged into the ladies room, relieved to find it empty. He unfolded the changing table and turned to Park.

"You can go back to the office; there's a blue bag next to House's stuff. There should be a clean diaper in there," he said.

Park nodded and walked out, returning moments later with a diaper in her hands.

"Okay, how do we do this?"

"Um," Chase began. "Hold on, I saw this on TV..."

He unbuckled Levy's pants and set them aside, pulling off the soiled diaper.

"That's just gross," Park said, turning away and holding her nose. "This is why I'm not having children, oh my God."

Chase almost laughed at Park but busied himself with throwing away the used diaper and unfolding the clean one.

"Okay, that's all I know. I'm done." Chase stepped away.

"I'll take it from here," Kutner said, taking the diaper and lifting Levy's legs. The baby fussed, but soon stopped after a few soothing words from Chase's part.

Kutner placed the diaper under the baby and fastened the straps, pulling up Levy's pants and buckling the button.

"Yeah, I think that's it. I don't have baby powder or a baby wipe or anything, but that'll do." he said, lifting up the gurgling baby.

"Yes, that'll do, Kutner," a voice said.

The three of them looked around, confused and slightly scared, until a stall opened and they saw House. He was sitting on one of the toilets, legs propped up in front of him, casually reading a book.

"What in the world are you doing here?" Park asked.

"I should ask of you the same," came House's answer.

"We're here because a certain someone left us alone. With two...babies or little devils or whatever they are." Park retorted.

"Well, be glad," House said, standing up. "You passed the test."

"Test?" Chase and Kutner asked at the same time.

"Yes, test. Well, you and Chase passed. I'm not sure about Park."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if I'm gonna be taking my kids to work with me from time to time, I gotta know if they're in good hands, right?" he said, extending his hands toward Emily.

She smiled and reached for House; so Chase let her go. House picked up Levy, waved at his team, and left.

"This was a test?!" Kutner almost yelled.

"Apparently. But you passed and so did I, so I suppose that's okay."

"What about me?" Park asked, following the guys out as they walked out the bathroom.

"You need more practice." Chase said, smirking.

"Oh, okay, mother hen," Park sneered at Chase and walked away, holding her head high up. Kutner guffawed.

"Mother Hen, I should start calling you that!" Kutner laughed as he ran away.

"Hey!" Chase scowled, trying to catch up to Kutner and Park. It was funny to watch them run around.

House stood from the distance, admiring his work.

"You think they deserve to pass, Em?" he asked.

Baby Emily gurgled and reached to touch House's face.

"Yeah, I think so too."


End file.
